its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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