So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
