My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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