one might say we're banned from that church
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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