I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
