Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize