if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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