how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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