It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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