Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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