The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
