I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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