No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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