I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
