The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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