i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You pole danced in your parka.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
