I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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