just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
