How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
