its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
