Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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