rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
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