he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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