i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
