I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
