By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
