Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
