I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Did I show you my penis last night?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
