Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
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My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
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You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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