i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
