You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
