I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
