Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
