I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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