i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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