This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize