She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
