I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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