After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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