You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Randomize
