You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
