A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
