Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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