So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
