If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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