you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
