We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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