We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
