We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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