Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
