BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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