STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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