Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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