I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Randomize
