I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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