I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
