I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
