I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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