There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I could fuck to npr.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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