I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
