i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
