I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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