when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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